Fade to Black
by RottenedRipe
Summary: A girl whose lost everything and a girl whose looking for everything. Ships? Nothing big, just the normal ones in the game.
1. Something More

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts. If I did, well, it's not exactly appropriate enough to discuss.

**A/N:** Yeah, I know, I know. I still haven't updated my other fic, but I wanted to post this otherwise it would rot and never surface. I have big plans for this fic. BIG plans. I dream about this at night. I breathe this. It's my very being! Lol Not really, but I really like my idea for this fic and couldn't wait to post this chapter.

**Fade to Black**

**Chapter One: Something More**

Nothing. That's all I saw, all I felt. Nothing. It hurt so much. How could nothing feel as though it were tearing at your heart, mind, your very being? How? I wanted it to end. Everything felt as though they were collapsing in on me and I can't stop it. I can't do a thing but beg, cry, rip at the skin that was holding me in. Holding me prisoner within myself. I ripped at my hair, wishing only to tear it all from my head and find something within myself. It hurt so much. I wanted something more than this darkness left within me that I can't find my way through. It was utterly frustrating. I wanted more, but I couldn't have more. This was it. Nothing. That's all I could have.

I fell to floor. My knees slammed painfully onto the hard stone floor and sent a wave of pain through my body, but I didn't care. It was something more. It wasn't the simple nothingness that I couldn't break through. I wanted to cry, to scream out in fury and breakdown, but I couldn't. Nothing. I could do nothing but sit there on the icy floor with pieces of my hair in my hands and stare blankly at everything around me. Pain. I could feel pain. Frustration. I could feel it, but I couldn't release it. I wanted so badly to be more than nothing. I was nothing. I wanted so much, but could have so little. I wanted back what had been stolen from me. I wanted back my life, my body, my memories. I wanted back my heart.

**A/N:** This first chapter is uber short and pretty vague, but I felt that it set the stage for the rest of the fic quite nicely. Tell me what you think! -

- Shannon


	2. Gorillas and Mirrors

**A/N:** Woohoo! Chapter two! I didn't want to post this until I had written chapter three, but since I'm losing my computer for a little over a week starting tomorrow since I'm moving, I decided to post this. I hope it's okay since I didn't get to really fix it up and such. And thanks for the review Blacksoul Andy! Much appreciated!

**Chapter Two: Gorillas and Mirrors **

My head screamed in pain when I tried to lift it. Everything in my body ached. My toes were burning, my hand had knives stabbed through them, lead weights rested on my lungs, demons ripped through my legs, and gorillas played the congo on my head with sharp rocks. Pain. Something I despised with a passion. Why couldn't go and fall in a ditch? I tried to move my head again, but it only screamed at me to stop and I unconsciously let out a scratchy moan from my dry throat.

"You're up?" a soft voice gently floated through my ears and traitorously stabbed at the insides of my head. I groaned in protest at the noise and tried to open my eyes. After a few moments, I was finally able to pry them open and was greeted by the bright rays of a lamp that illuminated the room I realized I was in. I snapped my eyes shut and hissed at the growing intensity of the beats of the gorilla's congo on my head.

"I'm sorry," the same voice I heard earlier whispered and I heard the faint click of the light being shut off. Chancing it, I slowly blinked my eyes open once the throbbing died down and was greeted by cool darkness. My eyes slowly adjusted and I saw the outline of a young woman sitting beside me.

"Drink this," she whispered to me and gently placed a hand beneath my head to lift it up off the pillow it rested upon and held a glass to my lips and slowly downed the cool water. My throat felt refreshed and my mouth no longer felt like sand paper.

"Thanks," I choked out and fell into a restless sleep.

**8-o-o-o-o-o-8**

I stared blankly at my reflection in the mirror. It wasn't me. It couldn't be me, but it was. My right eye was nothing like my left. My left eye seemed...normal. At least I think it did. I don't remember what normal looked like. It was an -- did she tell me almond? – almond shape and color was a sickly yellow like my right eye. Was this what a normal eye looked like? I don't know. The other was a glowing yellow circle like the ones I had seen on those creatures that she had told me were shadow heartless. Heartless. Like me, but not like me. I had a heart, just not a complete one. Parts of it were missing, unable to be recovered when she'd pulled me from the darkness. At least, that's what she told me.

It was hideous. It glowed such a sickly yellow and was rimmed with black. Disgusting. It stood there to remind me of what I didn't have. What I couldn't have. A dark shadow fell across my eyes. My body was covered with patches of shadow. My skin was a ghostly white. She told me that the color wasn't natural. My hair was just as dark as the shadows that covered my body. The hair I'd ripped out days ago had rapidly grown back. I fingered the ragged edges of my rebellious hair. I hated it. I wished I could rip it all out and revel in the blood from my scalp, but I knew that the traitorous strands of black would only grow back. I released the ragged ends I had been considering tearing from my head and felt like screaming at them as they lightly swept over my bare chest. I was repulsive.

I wanted to glare at my reflection. Mutilate it just to change something, but I couldn't. The hair that had grown back was proof. No matter how I destroyed myself, ripped at my skin and watched as blood ran from my wounds, it would all be the same as it was before the next day. Nothing. I had nothing. Not even the power to destroy myself. I slammed my fist into the mirror. It shattered and crashed to the ground. I kicked at the shards and walked out of the room I had confined myself in my quarters for the past day.

I needed to take a walk. It was the only thing that calmed me down and equalized my emotions to the same level as my expression. Nothing. I needed to be nothing right now.

**A/N:** A bit different from the first chapter and still a bit bland, but I'm getting there. I was going to make this chapter longer, but I couldn't figure out what else to add. Oh, in case you didn't notice, this chapter was from two different points of views. It's just a continuation of the introductions of the main characters really. I'll get into more detail in the next chapter. Anyway, review and tell me what you think.

- Shannon


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